FAKE How Could I?
by Kawaii-Neko-No-Miko
Summary: Ryo comes to terms with a misfortune in the line of duty. This fic is one of four in a series. Technically it is meant to be read in the following order: Stupid Sakura, No More Games, How Could I?, and Now That You’re Mine. But they make sense read alon


FAKE  
How Could I?  
  
Disclaimer: I do not own, claim to own, or dream about owning the cast of Fake. Ryo, Dee, Carol, Drake, JJ, Bikky, Commissioner Rose, and anyone else I forgot to mention are the property of the author of Fake, Sanami Matoh, and such.  
  
So! – Here begins the story! I didn't have any plans as to where the story was going when I started it. It wrote itself as I went along. This used to be part of a seven chapter story, but since it had very little to do with the other chapters, I separated them. And I think prepositions are the best things to end a sentence with. The crappy grammar isn't the product of careless mistakes; it's included to add to the style. I sound really pretentious, don't I? I'm really not. Wait, that makes me sound even more pretentious. Oops.  
  
When Ryo came home from work that evening Bikky pretended he didn't exist. After having walked in on Ryo and Dee having sex the night before, Bikky was furious. How immature. It was none of Bikky's damn business who Ryo dated and he'd have to deal with it. Bikky sat at the dinner table in silence. Ryo got tired of his stupidity rather quickly. "Bikky, you were wrong to barge in on my personal life with Dee. I know that you've been a big help in keeping him away from me for a long time, but I love him. Things aren't the same. So please try to get along with Dee and please respect our privacy."  
  
Bikky slammed his fork on the table. "Ryo, how can you lower yourself to that sleaze ball's level? You want me to stay out of it then I have to, but I still think Dee's an asshole!"  
  
"Bikky, it's none of your business! You have no right to interfere in my private life like this. When kids pull this kind of crap on their parents they regret it for a long time. You live here, and you'll respect me. My relationship with Dee doesn't concern you. You don't have to like him, but you have to respect that I do."  
  
Bikky growled. Ryo made a good point. What Ryo did with who really wasn't his business. Besides, he'd disliked Dee so much because he was always chasing Ryo. Honestly, he really did like the guy as a person. Maybe he'd have made friends with him if he's kept his faggy hands off Ryo. So now that he didn't have any protective duties maybe he would make friends with him. He shrugged. "Kay, Ryo, whatever makes you happy. He ain't so bad, I guess."  
  
No sooner had he made an implied agreement to try to get along with Dee when someone knocked loudly on the door. Ryo didn't look up as he shouted, "Come in!"  
  
Dee opened the door and walked in with a smile that would have made even a con artist nervous. "Hey, hey, Ryo. How's it hangin'...oh, Bikky." The smile did a sudden disappearing act. "Well, good to see you."  
  
Normally, Bikky would have said something snide or at least made a face. But when he looked past Dee being a horny Ryo-molester, he was really an okay guy. After all, for three years Dee had put up with his bullshit and he still treated Bikky like, well, a friend. Really, Dee had been incredibly patient. Hm. Maybe he should apologize to Dee for being such a jerk...nah! After all, just because he was dating (yuck!) Ryo now, that didn't change the fact that he used to try to rape him every five minutes. He'd just be reasonably polite. "Oh, Dee. Hey."  
  
Ryo grinned at Dee. "Hey! What are you doing here? Just felt like dropping in? Couldn't wait until tomorrow morning at work to see me?"  
  
Dee shrugged. "Guess not. After all, work's gonna be pretty miserable, don't you think? Everybody heard Drake and JJ yesterday. Screaming across the office about how they could tell you'd spent the night at my place. You think we're gonna get any respect at work tomorrow?"  
  
Ryo shrugged. "I thought you'd be the last person to be concerned. And you're making a bigger deal out of it than it is. I don't think anyone but JJ and Rose care."  
  
"Ehn. I guess."  
  
Ryo was right. Drake had caught on yesterday (the punch in the nose had been a big clue) that he should keep his stupidity to himself. The morning was perfectly normal except for JJ's sulking. He looked up occasionally to glare at Dee or Ryo, then made an angry whistling sound with his nose and looked back down at his desk. Ryo sighed. He felt kind of bad for JJ; sure, he was annoying, but he wasn't a horrible guy. Still, he was acting like a real jerk. What had ever made him think Dee wanted him?  
  
"Dee, Ryo!" Commissioner Rose walked into the room. "You're needed at a crime scene." He sent the detectives to the scene of a shooting in broad daylight in an alley. It was probably drug related since the kid had several hundred dollars in cash in his pocket. The dealers must have been sampling their own product to have left the money on the body.  
  
Dee and Ryo walked in silence back to the car. No amount of time as a detective could completely desensitize them. It was a shame when a kid got killed, regardless of their mistakes. As Ryo reached into his pocket for the keys, a breathless woman ran towards them. "Officers!" she shouted. "There was a drug deal gone bad, and some kids are being held as collateral!" The witness gave them all the info she had. They headed out. Someone else would handle the shooting in the alley; this was urgent. It seemed that a teenage boy and three friends had met up with a marijuana dealer in a back alley after arranging a deal. The dealer had brought the goods, but the group didn't have enough cash. The dealer didn't take it very well. Based on the description the woman had given, he'd been brought in to the precinct before for possession and he was known for regularly smoking pot laced with angel dust, known for causing violent tendencies in users. He'd pulled a gun and yelled for a friend of his, who was waving a gun and probably was high as well. They'd tied up the three friends and told the guy that if he didn't bring cash to them within two hours, his friends would be feeling the effects of a lead overdose, if he knew what they meant. He did – and he didn't necessarily give a damn. A witness had seen the guy run away terrified and watched as his friends were forced into the basement of an unused parking garage. With two armed, high, and pissed off dealers as their captors, the other three didn't stand much of a chance without police intervention.  
  
Dee and Ryo parked the car on the ground floor of the garage. It had been abandoned when the business it was attached to closed down. Since then, it had been well known for being the site of shady business and people avoided it. The detectives quietly walked down the filthy stairs, hands on their guns. The dealers weren't exactly going to be pleased to see them. They could hear them arguing on the other side of a concrete partition. Dee looked over the partition. The captors had their backs to the partition while watching the three tied up teens struggle hopelessly against their bonds. The dealers were no more than twenty themselves, awfully young to have let their lives get this out of hand. "I say we kill 'em now!" one of the dealers said.  
  
"Come on, why don't we wait until that kid comes back with the money? We don't gotta kill 'em or nothing," the other said.  
  
The more violent of the pair waved his gun in the air. "Ah, what do they mean to you anyway? I say we off 'em for fun and get out of here."  
  
Ryo shuddered. They couldn't wait much longer to take action. He peered around the partition to see what the situation was. He gasped and shot a look of panic at Dee. He whispered, "Dee, that's Carol! The girl on the right, I'm sure it's her! Dammit, what is she getting herself into now?"  
  
Before Dee could answer, they heard footsteps on the other side of the garage. Dee took a look around the partition. A guy who probably was the fourth friend, the one who was supposed to show up with more cash, had entered the basement of the garage using another staircase. He walked slowly towards the two dealers. "I brought your money...please let my buddies go. I..."  
  
"Shut the hell up!" The apparently more trigger-happy dealer screamed. He pointed his gun at the guy. Ryo and Dee decided it was time to take action. They stepped out from behind the partition, guns at the ready with Ryo aiming for the more passive dealer and Dee aiming for the one staring down the frightened teen.  
  
Dee shouted, "NYPD! Hands up and drop the weapon!"  
  
The dealer who'd been opposed to killing the hostages looked ready to wet his pants he seemed so frightened. He immediately dropped his gun, kicked it towards the detectives, and lay down on the floor. His partner looked at him, looked at the cops, and looked back at the noticeably shaking idiot who'd tried to stiff him. The click echoed as he released the safety on his gun. Dee thought it was justifiable at this point to shoot. He pulled the trigger on the six-shot automatic he'd been limited to. Nothing. He tried again. Nothing. Goddammit! It had been loaded when he checked that morning! He looked at Ryo and barked, "Do something!"  
  
There was no time for that. The dealer fired and the teen hit the floor dead, shot in the face. Ryo didn't have time to think before he fired twice. The dealer fell, screaming. He wasn't going to make it; he'd been hit in the chest both times. Ryo stared, stunned, while Dee went to the three bound hostages. Carol whimpered as she met Dee's angry gaze. "We're going to have to have a conversation about this."  
  
Now that they couldn't possibly be useful, the backup Ryo had radioed for showed up. They suggested that Dee take Ryo upstairs for some fresh air while they took care of things; Ryo didn't look too good. Ryo wouldn't even look up as Dee guided him outside. As soon as they were outside, Ryo dropped to his knees, tears welling up in his eyes. "Dee, I..."  
  
Dee knelt down next to Ryo. "Hey, are you gonna be all right?  
  
Ryo sobbed. "How could I? I killed that man, I..."  
  
"Ryo, it was justified. He'd killed that guy; he would have killed the others and us. Would you rather have seen Carol and the others killed, or gotten killed yourself?"  
  
Ryo made a sound disturbingly similar to a whimper. "Of course not, Dee, but it was a human life I just took. It's so wrong..." With that, he broke down into wracking sobs. Dee wrapped his arms his shoulders, and Ryo leaned against him, wetting his jacket with his tears. "Please, Ryo, let it go...shh...it's alright..."  
  
The policy at the 27th precinct was that any officer who engaged in a fatal shooting was required to attend counseling and take two days off. Ryo was set up to see a counselor first thing the next morning. Dee would have gone home with him to make sure he was okay, but he had to work a double shift. Ryo seemed to be in a daze when one of the cops who'd been called to the scene dropped him off at his empty apartment. Bikky and Sakura were both staying over at friends' houses and weren't going to be back until late the next evening. He'd planned to have a nice night alone with Ryo, so he'd made sure they were out. Now he was left to deal with his thoughts alone. That didn't seem like the best plan, but nothing could be done.  
  
Dee spent the entirety of his second shift worrying about his partner. He eventually convinced the commissioner to let him leave early so he could check up on him. He drove over, trying to think of something helpful to say the entire trip. Nothing came to him. What could he possibly say to the poor guy?  
  
He knocked on the door and faked a smile. Ryo didn't answer. He knocked harder and still didn't get an answer. He tried the doorknob and the door swung open. Odd. He walked in and almost screamed. Ryo was sitting at the kitchen table with his hand on the tabletop and blood running from his wrist. He turned his tearful gaze towards Dee as he entered. "Why did you have to show up?"  
  
"Shit!" Dee grabbed the phone and dialed 911. He rattled of Ryo's address and the nature of the emergency to the operator while he took the knife off the table and threw it in the sink. Ryo just stared at him.  
  
Dee hung up the phone and grabbed paper towels. "Ryo, my God, what were you thinking?" Ryo continued to stare at him in silence. "You go trying to kill yourself because you had to kill in self defense? Jesus, how could you be so foolish?" He grabbed Ryo's hand and pressed the towels down on his wrist. Ryo didn't fight him. "Come on, do something to help yourself! Think about Bikky and me, dammit! Where is he gonna go if you die? How am I gonna live without you...?" With that, he started to tear up.  
  
Ryo placed his hand over Dee's. "I'm sorry...I just couldn't come to terms..." In mid sentence, his hand on Dee's went limp. His head dropped onto his chest and he slumped forward onto the table. He'd lost a lot of blood and he'd fainted.  
  
"Ryo! Stay with me! Ryo!"  
  
The paramedics arrived and took Ryo, leaving Dee standing stunned in Ryo's kitchen. How could he have done something so stupid!  
  
He had to wait until the next morning to drive to the hospital. When he walked into Ryo's room he was reading a magazine. He looked up when Dee walked in and set the magazine on the table. "Dee, I'm glad to see you. And I'm forever indebted to you for saving my life..."  
  
Dee silenced him with a look. "Don't. Please. It's this way with all you crazies; you get it in your head you want to die and then when you don't you finally realize that you were wrong. Couldn't you have seen that before?" Ryo could say nothing in response. He had been a fool. "Ryo...I would have died with you if you hadn't made it." Dee sat down on the edge of the bed and embraced Ryo. "I'm so glad you're all right."  
  
Ryo came to terms with his actions during his therapy sessions. Self- defense had justified what he'd done; he couldn't label himself a murderer for what he'd done. After he'd worked it out, he put it behind him by not talking about it. In fact, he never told Bikky what had happened. He'd been an idiot. He'd dealt with it, and he planned to forget about it the best he could. Dee wouldn't forget, though. He wouldn't how he'd felt when he was afraid he'd lose his Ryo. He'd never express to Ryo how much he loved him; it just wasn't his way. Still, he knew that Ryo was his everything. 


End file.
